Chapter
1.11
Thursday, May 16th, 2002
"Xander, honey," Anya called, as she pushed open
the apartment door. "I've brought a friend to meet you."
She turned to whisper to Evie. "He seemed kind
of down when I got in. He doesn't normally drink, but I didn't
quite get time to work out what was wrong, what with having to
go look for Willow and everything. And the extra weight's kind
of a recent thing."
"I'm assuming he's mortal, too?" Evie half-asked
and half-commented.
"I plan to grow old with him," Anya announced
proudly.
Evie gave a grin. "It could be arranged. I could
give you a preview if you wanted?" Her eyes travelled to the still
unconscious form of the brunette in the middle of the floor.
Anya tilted her head to one side and considered.
"Nah, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. I'll take my chances."
The former vengeance demon leant over her husband's
slumbering form and blew into his ear. Xander's hand came up and
brushed at the area like a dog scratching at fleas. Anya leant
over and shook his shoulder before kissing his cheek.
"Xander? Wake up, Cookie-Face. There's someone
here to see you, well to see me really, but you can't just lie
in the middle of the floor."
"Ahn?" Xander groaned. "I don't feel so good."
"Well, you wouldn't, hon, not after half a bottle
of bourbon. I'll get you some water but you've got to sit up.
We've got company. Once you meet Evie, if you still don't feel
so good, you can go to bed."
Evie cleared her throat. "Annie, are you sure
you don't want me to do my little post-party trick?"
Anya looked from the demon to her husband. "It
might be an idea. Xander, you know how you feel real bad. Would
you rather feel like this for hours or would you rather feel like
you're really going to die for about five minutes and then be
better?"
"Hon?" Xander looked at his wife as if she were
talking a foreign language.
Anya rolled her eyes and started again. "Evie,
my friend, can make you feel better quicker... but, she can't make
you suffer any less. So basically, all the after effects you'd
get over the next day or so, they'd be... condensed. You see?"
"Huh?"
"Not the brightest star in the sky, is he?" Evie
asked.
"He's better when he's sober... well, a bit." Anya
defended him.
"Hey, sitting right here. Well, lying right here,
actually. Ahn, honey, why does your friend look like an extra
from Babylon 5?"
Anya arched an eyebrow. "Xander, you spend your
whole life on the Hellmouth and you still believed that all those
extras were people in make up?"
Comprehension finally dawned and Xander jumped
away from the Evie as if she was about to bite him. "D-demon!"
Then, he noticed Anya's less than amused expression and forced
himself to smile at their guest. "Of course, obviously a friendly
demon, who is your friend and not going to kill us."
Evie grinned. "How big an us are you talking
about? I mean, you and Annie are pretty safe, but your little
witch friend could be dying right now."
"Evie!" Anya reprimanded. "Don't tease. Xander's
not very good at reading demon folk. He'll think you mean it.
I know it's theoretically possible but Willow
would have to be really stupid—"
"And what she did tonight wasn't?" Evie drawled. "Bet she puts
another ten or fifteen years on the clock before she stops trying
to magic it away."
Anya gave an irritated toss of her head. "Like
I'm just going to throw away money."
Xander sobered up in an instant, though that
didn't prevent his brain from feeling like it was being crushed
in a vice every time he moved his head to look from one woman
to the other.
"What are you talking about? Did your friend
hurt Willow?"
"Relax," Evie replied. "She's totally uninjured,
and, if she gets her life in order, the effects are entirely reversible.
If, on the other hand, she continues to misuse her power, she'll
age herself into an early grave."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that your friend is lucky I'm the one
she chose to summon up. Most people who could do what she wanted
would rip her apart for having the nerve to do such an insulting
summoning."
Xander levered himself into a standing position,
only to discover that he didn't tower over Evie as he'd expected.
Instead, he still had to tilt his head back to look her in the
eye.
He couldn't help but think how much her eyes
reminded him of Meg Foster's even as he demanded a clearer response,
enunciating each word with as much menace as he could give it
when part of his brain was telling him how close he was to a truly
remarkable cleavage.
"What did you do to my friend?"
"I taught her a lesson. I linked her ageing to
her moral decay. As she becomes more corrupt she'll become physically
older."
"But Willow isn't corrupt."
Both women snorted their disbelief. "I told you
before that when the quiet ones get a whiff of power they just
run wild. All Evie's done is put the brakes on."
"I can't believe you." Xander turned on his wife.
"You know what Willow means to me and you bring home someone who's
done some sort of spell on her and expect me to make friends with
her."
"Technically, it's a curse. And you expect me
to be friends with Willow even after she manipulated Tara's memories
so that Tara would stay with her and have sex with her. At least
there's a reason other than pure selfishness behind what Evie
did."
"Actually," Evie admitted, "I was mostly just
pissed at the whole ruining my night off and thinking I'd want
some stupid puppy. I guess I just spent too long as a mischief
demon to go straight for the kill."
"Willow was going to give you a puppy?" the carpenter
asked, confused once more.
Anya sighed again. "Willow was going to ritually
sacrifice a puppy."
"No, I'm not listening to this. Willow wouldn't
do that."
Evie caught Xander's gaze and held it. "You want
to see what your Willow would do? Let me show you what your Willow
would do."
Xander's eyes glazed over as Evie chanted once
more in the demon tongue that she had used earlier. Anya watched
as her husband's expression turned to one of horror before Evie
passed the palm of her hand in front of his eyes and he blinked
several times before shaking his head as if to clear it.
"It's lies. Willow's not like that. It's just
an illusion."
Evie shrugged. "An illusion, yes, but an illusion
based on what would have happened if things had gone to plan for
your little witch tonight... And what could have happened after
that.
Annie, I think I'm going to cut this visit short.
You know how to get a message to me. If you want to arrange something
for another time, maybe the two of us can do something." The demon
stepped forward and Xander noticed as she took hold of Anya by
the shoulders that despite his perception earlier she wasn't more
than a couple of inches taller than his wife. She placed a gentle
kiss on each of Anya's cheeks before she disappeared, leaving
Anya to glower at her husband.
"I'm going to go see what your friend
did to Willow," Xander announced, pulling open the dresser drawer
to look for his car keys.
"Fine," answered Anya. "Go see your little witch,
but you won't get far without these." She pulled her hand from
a pocket, letting his keys dangle from her fingertips. She walked
into the bathroom, slammed the door behind her and locked herself
in.
Xander didn't have a clue what he should do when
the sound of sobbing reached him from the other side of the door.
"What should we call it?" Buffy asked
sort of skipping backwards so that she could face Spike as she
walked.
"Isn't that Bit's job, if it's meant to be
her mutt?" Spike asked.
"We can make suggestions. I like Byron."
Spike gave a snort of amusement. "Well,
I reckon given our luck the 'mad, bad and dangerous to know' quote
would probably be appropriate but that was Lord Byron, and your
little stray just happens to be female."
"Oh..." Buffy sounded disappointed but
this quickly passed. "Ew! Gross, Spike. Sniffing doggy sexy
smells."
"You know, seeing as you forced me into
tracking her, it's not like I could just not pay any attention."
"Alright. Hypocrite Buffy. Can you tell
if we're getting any closer?"
"Trail's still fairly old, but a dog that
age, it's probably scarpered like the blazes and then curled up
for a kip because it's knacked itself."
Spike grabbed at Buffy's arm just in time to
stop her tripping over an exposed tree root. "Watch you don't
drop that bloody tub." The vampire indicated a large Tupperware
dish that the slayer was carrying. "Bad enough cookin' for
two hours to give the stuff to a dog without droppin' it before
we even find the mutt." He took the container from her hands
and placed it on the ground before pulling her close.
As Spike's lips neared her own Buffy teased the
vampire. "It's just some stinky old beef casserole."
Spike nibbled gently at Buffy's lower lip before
responding. "That is not some stinky old beef casserole.
That is prime steak cooked in brown ale, and if we hadn't had
to race off before I got time to add the finishing touches it
would have been Flemish carbonnade of beef."
"Phlegm-y, carbonised beef? How appetising."
Spike was captivated by the laughter in her eyes. His hands came
up to cradle her face as he made to kiss her again and his love
for her arced through her whole body like a massive power surge.
She felt revitalised, as if with this man beside her she could
do anything.
Buffy opened her mouth in a low moan as the sensation
flowed through her and Spike's mouth covered hers in a passionate
but tender kiss. Buffy was unable to prevent the swell of her
own feelings of love and desire from engulfing both of them, nor
did she want to do so.
When he finally drew his head back, Spike scooped
his woman into his arms and spun her round until her laughter
reached the sky.
"You are insane," Buffy told him as
he finally slowed to a halt, letting Buffy slide down his body
as he returned her to her feet.
"Uh-huh," conceded the vampire, "but
only when it comes to you." Buffy made no attempt to move
away from the circle of his arms. In fact she pressed against
him until something hard ground into her hips.
Her tongue flicked out to moisten her lips before
she asked in an arch voice, "Is that half a set of manacles
in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"Both," Spike answered in a huskier
voice than his normal. "Now, unless you want me to drag you
into those bushes over there, we'd better go find that mutt."
"Well, not that I would mind... but Dawn is
waiting. And who knows what could happen to a poor defenceless
puppy on the streets of night-time Sunnydale?"
He scooped the container up from its place on
the ground and passed it to her. "Let's make this quick,
then. You never know. We might squeeze a minute or two for ourselves
once we round up all the waifs and strays."
"Yeah, like anything we can do in less than
a couple of hours doesn't leave us both just wanting more?"
All the same her free arm slipped around Spike's waist under his
coat, her thumb hooking onto his belt loop so that it was anchored
firmly, and Spike wrapped an arm around her shoulders to hold
her near as they set off once more at a slightly brisker pace.
They were almost back at Stevenson Hall when
Spike announced that the dog was nearby, hiding in the bushes.
"Near enough?" Buffy asked.
"Probably... Won't hurt to try, and I'd rather
not crawl round on my hands and knees trying to drag the thing
out."
Buffy opened up the Tupperware dish and set it
on the ground a few feet from the bushes. Soon a snuffling could
be heard nearby and then a canine nose appeared from under one
of the nearby shrubs. The nose was followed by a head and shoulders
and the dog regarded the pair suspiciously, though it was patently
interested in the tub of food.
Buffy picked up the container and began to move
very slowly toward the wary pooch, holding out her hand so that
she could get her scent. Spike held back, knowing that some dogs
were spooked by the scent of vampires.
He waited until the dog was completely out from
under the bush and wolfing down what had been intended as dinner
for five before he slipped the chain he carried from his pocket.
At one end of the chain was a wrist cuff and at the other was
a large metal ring that had once been used to fix the bindings
to a wall or floor. Buffy had pulled apart the first link of the
other chain that had until recently graced the hoop, thanks to
the orbs. Now Spike let a loop of chain drop through the ring
to form a crude, bulky, but hopefully effective improvised choke
chain. He passed it to Buffy who managed to slip the noose over
the dog's head whilst she was busy trying to lick the last of
the gravy from the dish.
The dog looked up, obviously hoping for more,
but when Buffy simply took the time to rub behind her ears and
pet her she seemed content to stay there, trying to lick any bare
flesh of Buffy's that came within reach of her mouth. Spike moved
forward, holding out his hand to the beast, who sniffed it curiously
before deciding that it, too, needed a coating of dog spit.
The vampire grimaced and rubbed his hand on the
dog's coat to dry it off a bit.
"See?" Buffy asked triumphantly. "She
might only be an adopted Summers woman but she was bound to like
you."
Their new four-legged friend trotted after them
quite happily until they got within a block of the clock tower
at which point she sat down, began to tremble as if the temperature
was sub-zero and refused, even when the chain pulled tight around
her neck, to move another inch. Finally, Spike had to pick her
up and carry her to the car, with her struggling all the way to
get out of his arms.
"Whatever Red was up to before we got there,
she certainly had the poor bugger spooked as hell. Don't know
what the mutt's going to make of being in the same house as her."
"We'll just have to see." Buffy shrugged.
"I guess, if it's too bad, we'll have to move her to Giles'
hotel or something."
"Are we talking about Red or the dog, pet?"
Spike asked as he pushed the dog into the back seat of the DeSoto
and slammed the door shut before she could make a dash for it.
"What kept you guys?" Dawn was sitting
with Brandon on a swing that hung from the front porch of his
house, her bag at her feet. "You're twenty minutes late."
"We had to find something," Buffy answered.
"Check out the back seat of the car." A wet nose was
pressed against the newly-cleaned glass.
"A dog? You guys have got yourselves a dog?"
"Actually, I was thinking that you might
want her. Of course, you would have to walk her before it got
dark and clean up any mess she makes and stuff like that. Otherwise,
I guess we'll have to take her to the pound tomorrow."
"The pound? You can't do that. They put
dogs to sleep there."
"So they do." Buffy's face cracked
into a grin. "I guess that means you want to keep her, huh?"
A suspicious look crossed Dawn's face, and she
looked from one of the pair to the other. "What brought this
on?"
"We'll tell you when we get home. For now,
why don't you say goodbye to Brandon? We'll wait in the car."
She pulled an obviously reluctant Spike away
from the younger couple. As they got back in the car the vampire
mused, "I wonder how you'd go about training the mutt to
growl at him every time he kisses her?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Why bother training
the dog to do it when we've got you?"
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