Chapter 5.04
Friday, May 10th, 2002

Spike decided that it was probably diplomatic to leave the bulk of the hands-on training to Buffy or at the very least to make sure she was around when he was doing it. Also, there was the distinct possibility that even a feigned attack could leave him with a headache. With this in mind he decided to walk Dawn through a simple kata or two. He went through the moves alongside her several times before standing back to comment and gently correct her stance and execution.

"I don't get this," Dawn commented as she practised.

"Don't get what, love."

"This. This stuff you're teaching me. This is all structured and stuff, but it's not how you fight and it's not how Buffy fights either."

"No, it's not how I generally fight. Most of the time I get away with working on instinct and a lot of what I do comes from fightin' in the gutters on a Saturday night, but it's never a waste to learn proper techniques. If you practice enough, even in the middle of an adrenaline rush, you'll still punch so that you don't sprain your wrist, or maintain your balance without thinking about it. You'll eventually learn to adapt bits of everything so that you have your own style that you're comfortable with, but first you have to practice till the moves come naturally."

By the time Buffy came back to the shop, Spike had given Dawn a break on the katas and had her practising kicks on the punch-bag instead, which was probably as much a reflection on his attention span as anything else. The elder Summers still looked decidedly unhappy as she dropped her shopping bags on the floor, so Spike just dropped back deeper into the room until he stood on the training mats near the room's centre. He raised his hands, palms toward him and flexed his fingers a couple of times in an invitation that probably predated the spoken word.

Buffy for her part stretched her neck, tilting her head to either side until bones popped into place with a cracking noise, and followed him onto the mats. Dawn worked her way around the punch-bag until she had a view of the sparring area, keeping the rhythm of her kicks going the whole time so as not to alert either of the participants to her interest.

The couple circled around each other looking for an opening to attack. Yet, each knew the other so well, feints were ignored and attacks were blocked. That is, until Spike set up a series of kicks, punches and counter-kicks so fast that Buffy seemed to have a problem meeting them. The moves culminated with a roundhouse kick to the side and back of her head, which she failed to block. It was only when the kick struck with less than the anticipated force that Buffy realised her problem and adjusted for it.

This was the first time she had officially sparred with the vampire. Indoors, sacrificing the protection and additional force to his kicks, he had removed the heavy boots he customarily wore. Probably, he had taken them off so that if he did land a solid kick there was less chance of doing any damage, but in doing so he had upped the pace of his attack beyond his normal and taken her by surprise. It wouldn't happen twice.

The fight ebbed and flowed, with first one attacking then the other. Often the pair seemed like mirror reflections of each other, with no discernible delay between the movements of the arm that attacked and the one moved to stop it hitting. At other times, the duo moved like the gear wheels in a machine, one leaping upward at the exact instant that the other's leg swept through the air where they had once been or bodies bending aside just long enough and far enough to evade attack. Occasionally, one would manage to take the other to the ground, but unless they were pinned, recovery was almost instantaneous, with the downed party either rolling or flipping to their feet. Even when one did appear to pin the other to the ground positions would be reversed so rapidly Dawn found it difficult to keep track.

The first sign that Dawn noticed was how the pair were panting, gasping for breath almost in synch, not so out of place for Buffy, even if she had fought far longer fights without obvious ill-effect, but from Spike who didn't need to breathe? Then, she became aware of the heated glances passing back and forth, her sister's eyes reduced to emerald rings around obsidian pools, Spike's eyes so dark she couldn't even tell any longer that they were blue. The tip of the vampire's tongue gliding over his upper teeth in a predatory and obscene way, led her to check down below the waist for the final all too obvious sign that at least one half of the pair was enjoying their encounter on more than one level.

'TMI,' thought Dawn as she backed out of the room. 'Altogether TMI. But then when you saw them move together, to begin with, you thought it was beautiful. They were beautiful. So can you blame them if he thinks... and she thinks... and their bodies... react. Yeuch! So not going there, understandable or not.'

"So, Xander, are you secure enough in your masculinity to join me as one of Buffy's attendants or are you going to let her down?" Dawn decided she couldn't resist some Xander baiting.

"I'm still mulling it over. And what's with you and your undead hero laying on the guilt trips?" the male Scooby responded.

"We're just trying to get you to say yes, so Buffy can be all happy and excited. I don't know what you're stalling for unless you're aiming to make her beg, and if that's what you want... some best friend."

"But Dawn, it's not exactly a manly job, is it? Why couldn't Anya have been a bridesmaid and then I could be an usher."

"No, sweetie," Anya interrupted. "The ushers thing works because Tara and I are both doing it. It wouldn't be the same effect with one man and one woman."

Dawn looked Xander straight in the eye and gave it her best shot. "Xander Harris, if you think about this from anyone else's view-point but your own for five minutes you will see that this is the only way. Buffy wants you in the wedding party. All the other Scoobies will be. If you don't do it you'll be the only one in the congregation.

If you were asked to be one of the ushers, that would mean that you and Spike would be together for hours, possibly alone. You would be in a foul mood. Spike would be even worse. If one of you didn't end up with a black eye or something it would be a miracle. Do you want to ruin Buffy's perfect day?"

"Of course not."

"Then tell her you'll do it, already."

Xander gave an exaggerated sigh and pushed himself up off his stool behind the counter, heading toward the training room.

Dawn's voice squeaked she panicked so much. "Just not right this minute. When they're finished. I mean when they come out. No need to interrupt."

"No need to interrupt what exactly?" Xander asked his tone indicating a mixture of suspicion and disgust.

"Sparring... Ehm... they... were... sparring, when I left them."

"What's your problem, Xander?" Anya asked in a voice he recognised as being far too reasonable.

"Buffy and Spike, in the training room."

"Yes, Xander. They're in the training room. Not in the shop where the customers are and don't tell me it's because the training room's a public place or because we're out here. You talked me into doing it in the basement with that bunny doll and all the Scoobies sitting around upstairs, except Dawn that is, because she was busy being held hostage."

"But it's Spi-i-ike and Bu-uffeee," he whined.

"Just get over it, Xander. Buffy isn't the sweet sixteen you had a crush on any more. She's a supernaturally enhanced woman in her prime with desires that will only ever truly be satisfied by an equally supernaturally enhanced man. She has chosen Spike as her life-partner. You, I thought, chose me to be yours. That means you don't get a say in what the two of them do. Buffy doesn't get a say in what we do.

They don't appreciate your unhealthy fascination in their affairs and quite frankly I'm more than a little sick of it myself. Even if Spike and I had never existed, even if she was attracted to you, you and she could never have what they have.

You don't even want her. You never really wanted her. You only ever wanted your idealised image of her and when she let you down by not being that person you passed judgement on her.

You lied to her about Angel. You gave her a hard time about wanting to be with him, even when they were just friends. She told everyone she was in trouble when Giles said he was leaving. You didn't know how to help so you ignored it and hoped she'd just miraculously get better on her own. You told yourself she was fine and left her to deal with slaying and debts and looking after Dawn and you expected her to be able to help Willow through losing Tara and the magic thing when she wasn't even keeping her own head above water. And when someone does try to help her, you give both of them a hard time. If you had really been her friend, she would have been able to tell you about her and Spike. If you are her friend, you'll let her find whatever happiness she can, however she wants to.

And, if you meant those vows you said a week ago, then it's about time you made me feel like I'm the most important woman in your life, not her and not Willow."

"Ahn, honey. It is you that I love. It's just I can't help thinking my best friend is about to make a huge mistake."

Anya's expression hardened. "A huge mistake like marrying a demon, you mean?"

"Yeah- No. It's Spike. Spike who's kidnapped us and tried to kill us and sold us out to Adam. You know I love you. I don't hate Spike because he's a demon. I hate Spike because of who he is."

"Xander. You say you hate Spike because he tried to kill you. Big deal. He tried. I did it. My vengeance spell saw you and Willow vamped and dusted, Buffy dead, Oz, Cordelia pretty much everyone you know except Giles, all dead. Sunnydale was a ghost town. The master was in charge of everything, and I did it. The only difference is that Giles reversed time when he smashed the pendant, so if you hate Spike for what he's done years ago then don't try telling me you love me because you're lying to yourself about one or the other."

"Ahn, it's different."

"How's it different? Different because I give you orgasms and Spike doesn't? You can make an exception, but Buffy isn't allowed. Spike may have the attitude, but I have him beat ten times over when it comes to evil-doing. In fact, I'm sure he said he 'didn't much care for the pre-show' so chances are, even the people he killed had it far easier than mine.

It's like when Buffy found Warren's bot everybody sort of felt sorry for him. He didn't think anyone could really love him so he made himself someone who did. And you all said how sad it must be to be this guy with no hope of being loved.

But did Spike get any sympathy when he thought Buffy would never love him? What he did was exactly the same as what Warren did. No one gave him any sympathy. No one said gee, imagine feeling so much for someone and knowing they'll never love you back. No, it was just Spike's a pervert. He's sick. He's disgusting.

And the only difference is Warren's human and Spike's not. Same way as you ignore all the good stuff he's done, and you didn't ask him to help with the resurrection. You knew Buffy's death tore him up more than anyone except maybe Dawn. You knew he helped Dawn with the spell to bring back Joyce but you didn't include him and you didn't even see fit to tell him, all because his heart doesn't happen to beat.

I saw what you were like vamped. You don't hate Spike because of anything he's done. You're jealous that you can't be him."

There wasn't much Xander could say to that. Lately it just seemed like everyone was throwing emotional bricks his way, and he got hit in the head every time.

Dawn decided to pass on some advice. "Xander, when I found out I was the Key, the only person who helped me make any sense out of it was Spike. He told me that where you start out in life isn't important. All that matters is where you end up. I started out as the Key but it doesn't matter because I ended up human. He started out human and ended up a vampire. It's who we are at the end that counts.

And the Spike we first met was different from the Spike who got up out of that wheelchair after however many months. He was different again when Drusilla left him. He was different after he got the chip and again after he realised he was in love with Buffy. And then there was the whole big change where he had to adjust because he hadn't dealt socially with humans for over a century and the only romantic experience he had was his time with Drusilla. It doesn't mean his feelings were less real, just that he made some terrible mistakes trying to express them.

Now, he's the guy my sister loves. He's my friend, almost brother. He's Anya's friend.

He's brave. He's intelligent. He's funny. He's fun to be around. He makes me feel safe and wanted and loved. He's a butt-hole too sometimes, but he's our butt-hole.

And that's all that matters. Not how he started out, not all the changes that helped him get to where he is, but who he is now. You just have to let yourself see that and stop letting all your old grudges prevent you from seeing what's right in front of your nose."

"You really love him, don't you?" Xander's voice conveyed a world of amazement.

"Well, duh. Just for example, the guy let that bitch cut him up and use him for a punch-bag and still wouldn't tell her who I was. How could I not?" Dawn asked. "Of course, if you tell him I said that, I'll deny it.

But Xander, I'm not just talking about Spike. People are a bit like plants. They have to grow or they die. You've been putting way too much energy into staying in one place. If you keep holding on to the past... If you keep bottling up intolerance and resentment and hatred... eventually it'll overshadow everything else that you are... And you'll lose the people you love." The teenager looked over at Anya and then briefly at the training room door.

"Pet, I don't think your little sister trusts our self-control."

"What?" Buffy looked around for her sister, leaving herself apparently wide open to attack.

Spike passed up the opportunity, choosing instead to slide his arms around her waist from behind and rest his cheek against her hair. "She just beat a retreat into the main shop."

"You think she thinks...?" the slayer asked.

"I think she thinks exactly what would have already been happening by now if she weren't here is about to happen."

"And she just ...left."

"Mm-hm, no "Ew", no "Euch", no "Gross", just a quiet retreat. Did I ever tell you how much I love your sister?" Spike's voice wasn't teasing or playful, just full of warmth.

Buffy tipped her head back against Spike's shoulder and looked up into his eyes as she answered equally seriously. "I think you always just showed me."

She reached up a hand to cup his cheek, her other coming to rest over where his were clasped.

Spike tried to steer the topic away from raging hormones. "How'd your wrist hold up?"

"Fine. I taped it while you were talking to Anya."

Spike gently drew her hand away from his face and pushed back the sleeve of her top, so that he could remove the tape and unwind the bandage supporting her wrist. He took his time and when the last of the material was removed he brought her wrist to his mouth, brushing his lips over the already yellow-green bruise at her pulse-point.

"D'you feel up to patrol tonight, or should I do the rounds on my own?" he asked.

"It's good. I won't even notice it, if I tape it up again and take a couple of aspirin."

"You feeling a bit less stressed out than when we started?"

"Less stressed, but every bit as tense ...for all the best reasons," Buffy admitted.

"That, I might be able to help you with."

Buffy turned to face him, pressing her fingers against his brow. "Are you okay? Mmh, slightly over room temperature, I'm sure. Does that mean you've got a fever? Never heard you express any doubts about your prowess before. You must be ill."

"The only fever in my blood is you, Summers, you and you alone. As to my sexual prowess I think it's only fair to let you be the judge. In this instance though, with Li'l' Bit just the other side of the door, I thought we'd ruled out sex... as such."

"So where exactly was your deviant, little mind headed?"

"Just a bit of harmless necking, pet, maybe a bit of smutty talk, a bit of friction." The vampire pushed his thigh between hers and gripped her ass pulling her tight against his pelvic bone as he answered before letting her slip back down till her feet rested flat on the ground again.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sensation between her thighs and when she looked up at him, her eyes were bottomless black pools of desire. "Harmless meaning blood-free, hence the 'might'. 'cause we both know..."

"...that if I bleed you, I can make you come. That's right. But if I did, we wouldn't be leaving this room any time tonight and I wouldn't give a damn who was outside the door."

"But what do you get out of it, Will? Seems like all you get is more frustration." Her tongue flicked across her upper lip. "It wouldn't be fair."

"Since when has fair had anything to do with our sex-life, pet?"

"Since our sex-life became part of our relationship. So, if you're going to have to wait, then so am I. Now, let's get out of here before I jump your bones."

"I think you've got a bit to learn about offering incentives, love. And you don't want to go out there just yet. Harrises are in middle of another row."

"What's the what this time?" Buffy asked, watching the muscles of Spike's stomach ripple as he stretched his arms over his head to put on his T-shirt.

"Us, or to be more precise the fact that Harris is more interested in trying to prove you're making a huge mistake than in paying attention to his bride."

Buffy rushed to the door pressing her ear against the wood, glancing over at Spike's expression of consternation when Anya said she had him beat ten times over on the evil front.

The bit about the 'bot went down even better. "Valid point, pet, but could you make me out to be any more of a useless wanker?" he muttered under his breath as he lit another cigarette, breathing in deeply before exhaling in a long steady plume. His face fell into his habitual smirk when Anya told her husband he was jealous and Buffy who was watching his reactions almost as much as she was listening to the argument, just rolled her eyes as his trademark expression fell into place.

"Y'know, slayer, it's not polite to eavesdrop on private conversations."

"Phft. I'm just saving Dawn from having to relay the details, and you're listening."

"I just happen to have particularly acute hearing. I can't help it. You're the one with her ear to the door."

"Shh. I want to hear what Dawn's saying," Buffy tried to quiet the vamp.

Spike turned away under the pretence of putting on his sweatshirt, zipping it up enough at the bottom to be sure it hid the bulge in the front of his jeans. He kept his back turned to Buffy as he fumbled with his socks and boots, not wanting her to see the effect of Dawn's words. He blinked frantically, trying to stop the tears from falling. His hands fumbled with laces he could barely even see until small hands brushed his aside and hazel eyes looked up from where she knelt at his feet.

"Don't worry," she said softly as she swiftly tightened and knotted the laces on his boots. "She kinda catches us all like that at times, even the Big Bad ...or do you have to give that title over to Anya now?"

Spike grinned and, of course, two tears finally took their chance and slid down the planes of his face. He opened his arms and she stood up again so he could hold her. "Dunno, love. Reckon we could arm-wrestle for it?"

His lips brushed against her hair. "You are both so beautiful, y' know. Like Joyce. You see the good in people, even people like me. I don't deserve either of you."

"Sure you do. Just wait till you have a week where both of us have PMS."

"Well, can't say it applies to the Li'l' Bit but I seem to recall certain advantages to being around you at that time of the month." He gave her a knowing leer and she tried hard not to laugh.

"Spike, you are so gross. You do realise most men are just freaked by that."

"Vampire, so sue me. I love how you taste three hundred and sixty five days a year and I don't recall you having any complaints."

"Yeah but now you've got a proper place, we've got to worry about getting stains on ...I would say the sheets but in our case it's probably more appropriate to say the carpets."

"In that case, I'll just have to ravish you in the kitchen and the bathroom where there are all those nice wipe-clean surfaces."

Buffy didn't know whether she should laugh or cry. "You are incorrigible, and as long as you don't make those sort of comments in public, I have to admit I like it. Now, get out of here before you end up 'even more desperate for a shag' Giles. Which reminds me, none of them in there know about your new name, yet."

Spike picked up the carrier bags Buffy had brought in earlier and opened the training room door, stepping back to let her precede him through.

"Hey Xander. You know you asked the other day about what my married name was going to be. Were you really interested or just trying to stir things up?" Buffy quipped by way of introducing her topic of choice.

"Both," admitted the construction worker with a disarming grin.

"So if I told you Spike's ID is all getting sorted out and we know the name would you still be interested?"

"Doesn't matter if he is or not, your sister wants to know, and I think since I have to go to bible study I have a right to know first," Dawn demanded.

"How about third?" Buffy asked.

Spike cleared his throat. "Em, Ripper," he reminded Buffy.

"How about fourth?" she amended. "Willow and Tara were home when I found out and Spike had already discussed it with Giles."

"You are so going to pay, but I guess I'll have to make do," conceded the teenager.

Buffy moved over and whispered in her sister's ear, just so that she could say she heard before Xander and Anya.

The youngster let out a high-pitched shriek of excitement, attracting the attention of all canines within a three-mile radius. She looked up at Spike. "Really?" she asked, and when the vampire nodded, she burbled on excitedly. "That is so cool. You are so sweet to think of something like that." She flung her arms round her sister and then dashed round the table to throw her arms around Spike's waist.

"Not sweet, pet. M'Bad," argued Spike, only to be met with the patented Summers eye roll.

Xander's patience couldn't hold out any longer. "So give, Buffy. What's got Summers Jnr. all excited?"

Anya rolled her eyes in the background, having obviously guessed, maybe Bit had been giving her lessons while she worked off her sticky finger debt.

"You are looking at the future Mrs William A. Giles."

"Oh my God," said Xander. "Giles wasn't training him to be a watcher. He's going to be Giles Jnr." Xander began to laugh, and then giggle uncontrollably.

"Does anybody with two brain cells to collide together know what Bibble-Boy is talking about or should we ring for the nice men in their white coats now?" asked Spike.

"I think so," said Buffy.

Spike pulled out his cell phone. "I suppose it would only be 911 if he were a danger to himself or others."

His fiancée slapped him on the arm. "No, I think I know what he's talking about. After we did the spell to invoke the essence of the first slayer, to defeat Adam." She threw a sideways look at Spike. "...everybody that was part of the spell had all these weird dreams. I think Xander said in his you were all dressed in tweed and playing on a swing set with Giles and you said that Giles was going to train you to be a watcher.

But then in Giles' dream you were hiring yourself out as a tourist attraction, so I don't think it's anything other than a coincidence."

"Look, pet, amusing as it is to watch Harris go through his nervous breakdown, we're going to have to go now if we want to catch the florist's before they shut."

"Don't forget your purchases. Your change is in the bag," Anya called out, causing Spike to swerve toward the counter and pick up his Magic Box carrier bag.

"Bye, kitten. I'd check the refunds policy on that marriage license. See if it's not too late to take him back and get one that isn't broken." This earned him another slap on the arm, but since it came with a Buffy smile, he didn't care a bit.

The group had just left when Xander stopped giggling. "Hey, how come Dead Boy Jnr. gets to be Giles Jnr.? I wanted Giles to be my dad."