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Chapter 10 - All's Well. (c. Decisions and Dates)
Sunday, May 5th, 2002
Buffy tried to concentrate on the paperwork in front
of her, but her mind was too preoccupied with the happenings of the previous
day to really take in what she was reading. She looked over at the two
Wiccans sitting across the table from her and was sure they were equally
distracted. So far there was nothing on any of the pieces of paper to
give them any clue as to their adversaries' next course of action.
Willow was about to start checking out the stuff on the
computer disks. Buffy stifled a yawn and pushed aside the papers in front
of her.
"Research hurts my brain. I think I'm going to go swing
past Spike's crypt and see how he's getting on with that translation.
I might go straight out on patrol afterwards. If you need me Spike's phone
number is on the bit of paper in the front of the address book."
"Spike has a phone?" Willow asked amazed.
"Yeah. He's been holding out on us. Something about not
being totally on a leash, except that wasn't quite how he put it... See
you later. If Dawn's looking for something to do when she gets back from
Janice's, tell her to check round the house and the garden to make sure
there aren't any more cameras."
Buffy grabbed the tranquilliser rifle from where it had
been left in the hall, wrapping it in a blanket and bouncing down the
steps to go to see a peroxide pest.
Buffy hovered indecisively outside the crypt door, uncertain
whether she could or should go through with what she had planned. She
rapped her knuckles against the solid door and waited a few moments for
a reply. The door swung slowly open in front of her, like the door of
a horror-movie house and her steps faltered as she entered the mausoleum.
"Come on, slayer. You know I only bite when you want
me to. Hurry up and get in so I can shut out Mr Sunshine." The familiar
English accent sounded from behind the door.
Buffy shook her head, banishing the imaginary corpse
lurking around the corner, and made do with moving out of the way so that
the real walking, talking one could shut the door behind her.
"I brought a peace offering, sort of semi-permanent loan
idea. I was thinking after you left last night and I figured, this way,
the next time someone comes in making unfounded accusations you might
at least have a chance to defend yourself." Buffy's voice was hesitant,
her gaze trained on the vampire's neck, knowing she would never get through
this if she had to look into his eyes.
She gently laid down the bundle containing the tranquilliser
gun on top of the television. "I also wanted to apologise for not giving
you a chance to explain about the eggs. I don't know if they were really
what we were looking for or not, but even if they were I should have given
you the chance to explain how you got them.
I'm sorry about that night in the alley. God, I'm so
sorry." She stole a glance at his face, love, puzzlement and concern clear
from the tilt of his head and the luminosity of his ultramarine eyes as
he moved toward her. "I just can't believe... I look back at the things
I've done, at the way I've treated you, and it's almost like a stranger
did them. I just can't make... I thought I was this person. I was supposed
to be some kind of hero, some sort of ideal but, coming back, there's been
all this anger... and frustration and loneliness and helplessness and I've
just lashed out at you. I've used you as a whipping boy for everything
that's gone wrong since I've come back... and I'm just so sorry."
She drew in a deep breath that was almost a sob and inhaled
the fragrance of tobacco, copper and spices. Startled, she realised that
she was almost resting against her former lover's chest and that his hands
were running up and down her arms, making soothing motions while he murmured
soft phrases of comfort.
"And it's not just that. It's everything that every guy
I've dated has ever done to hurt me. Every bad thing that's happened was
just hanging over our heads like the Sword of Damocles because I couldn't
accept that you were different."
She took a step backwards, pulling away from his caresses
but looking into his eyes once more. "I just have so much I have to say
and if I stay that close to you... my brain'll just give up."
"Would that be a bad thing, love?" She forced herself
another step back as the ocean of emotions in his eyes threatened to pull
her under.
"It would be, if we want things to be right between us,
and I don't know if we can make things right, and even if we manage
to make things right that doesn't necessarily mean that we'll be together."
Most of the words in her reply ran into one another as she rushed to still
any premature hopes that the vampire might get. "Can you forgive me for all the things I've done and
said?"
"Love, they were forgiven without you even having to
ask."
She nodded her head gently and his eyes were drawn to where she
held her lower lip between her teeth. "Okay, here's a question and I need you to really
think it through before you answer." She caught and held his gaze. "You
always talk about how we're both creatures of darkness. You say that I
belong in the dark with you. What happens if I can't accept that? If I
don't like the person I can feel myself becoming? What happens if I ask
you to come down off the balcony and be with me on the dance-floor?"
She could see him resist the urge to answer the second
she finished. Instead he let a few seconds pass before he replied.
"Buffy, you've been inside me. You've felt what I feel.
Don't you know I'd do whatever it takes to be with you?"
"Spike, I know you'd die for me. I'm prepared to believe
you would die without me. I'm asking something of you that's going to
be far harder. If there's going to be a chance for us to be together, you
are going to have to live a life that goes even more against your nature
than how you're living now.
I don't even know exactly how you get the money you spend,
so I don't know if you could even afford your blood out of what you make
honestly, never mind cigarettes, alcohol or anything else, but that's
what I would need for you to do, even if it meant getting a job."
"How am I supposed to watch your back on patrol if I'm
stuck behind a bar somewhere or something?"
"You can't. But how can I even try to break Dawn of her
bad habits if I'm condoning the same habits in you. You need to be purer
than the driven snow. I need to be able to tell myself and anybody else
who thinks they're going to mouth off about my taste in men, that, yeah,
Spike was everything you say, but he changed... right down to stealing power
and cable." She glanced over at the television where Passions played on,
totally unheeded by the vampire who had put it on.
"You've been thinking about this real hard, haven't you,
pet?"
"Yeah, and I know the little things are almost so stupid
they're hardly worth the effort, but the thing is, I want to trust you
but it's really hard. All my slayer instincts say that I shouldn't but
if you give me a basis to build that trust on, then I'll try my best to
ignore what those instincts tell me, but if you tell me you'll do this
and then I catch you out in something, that's it. If there ever comes
a point where you prove that I can't trust you, if you even so much as
shoplift a can of coke, then we part ways."
"And if in theory I agree to all this, where do we go
from there?"
"Well, we try to go back to being friends like we were
before we kissed. We go back to patrolling together, when it's mutually
convenient. We get motorbike rides, videos and pizza, and I get someone
else's cooking if I'm working late. We date. Out in the open not hiding
it from people, but don't count on us being alone much because I can't
cut back on my time with Dawn.
Dawn is my responsibility. You want to be a big brother
figure, fine, but I'm the parent. I get to have the final word... but I'm
open to advice.
We can spar in the training room at the Magic Box, but
outside of that we never hit each other again. Dawn never sees another
bruise on either of us that was intentionally caused by the other. The
handcuffs and all your other toys stay here, but the only time I'll be
spending the night is when Dawn isn't at home. You can stay nights at
the house, maybe a couple of times a week, but no more than that because
I don't want trouble with Social Services-"
Buffy's exposition was halted by Spike's finger on her
lips.
"I think I've got the general idea, love, you can draw
up a list of do's and don'ts later. You know what my answer's going to
be."
"I could make an informed guess."
"So is it okay to kiss you yet, or do I have to disconnect
the electricity and the cable feed first?"
Buffy pretended to give this due consideration. "I think
if you get rid of the cable feed I can take that as a gesture of good
faith and let you off on the electricity until you can get yourself a
generator or something. I wouldn't want your blood or your eggs to go
off, if that seems fair to you?"
Spike opened the coffin he used as a weapons chest and
drew out an axe. Striding to the far side of the room he brought it down
on the aerial cable for the TV. "You'll have to wait till after dark if
you want to make sure I take the dish down... but I'm sure I could keep you
entertained if you want to wait."
Spike dropped the axe on the floor behind him and came
over to take Buffy's shoulders in a gentle grip.
"I'm sure you could but Dawn'll be getting back from
Janice's soon. I could justify hanging out here till it's time to patrol
if you had lots of interesting translations for me to read but since you've
been watching tacky soap operas... which are still running. Why's your TV
still playing Passions if you just cut the cable?"
"Because, it's on video, because I was at The Magic Box
checking up on some background to that passage I translated when it aired.
'Course, if you want to know what I found out, I'm still waiting for that
kiss."
"Blackmai-" Buffy's accusation was cut off in surprise
as Spike's lips gently brushed against her own. Her arms wound their way
around his neck and she stood balanced on the toes of her left foot her
right foot instinctively raised a few inches off the floor. She had been
expecting a bruising forceful assault and was blind-sided by his gentle
caresses grazing against her hypersensitive skin. Her body came to rest
against his and she strained upward to deepen the kiss. His tongue made
it's way behind her parted lips, tracing a slow trail along her gum-line
before stroking softly against her own. The kiss had none of the urgency
of their normal interactions. It was slow, sensuous and tantalising and
it held the promise of lovemaking that would take hours to reach its peak.
Buffy's eyes flicked open as he pulled his head back,
her cheeks flushed and her pupils dilated. She drank in the stark alabaster
planes and angles of her lover's jaw and cheekbones before she registered
the contented glow she had never seen before in his cobalt eyes. Aware
of her gaze his lips curved gently upward.
"You haven't lost interest in what our friends have been
reading up on, have you? Not after me staying up half last night working
on it?"
She shook her head to clear the lassitude engendered
by his efforts. "No, I just got a little distracted. Do tell."
Spike led her over to the 'comfy' chair and once he was
seated he pulled her into his lap so that her back rested against one
chair arm and her knees hung over the other. As he spoke one hand played
idly with her hair whilst the fingers of his other hand traced soft patterns
on the fabric of her jeans.
"It looks like Warren and his mates have decided to become
the Sunnydale equivalent of Indiana Jones." Spike explained to Buffy about
the Nezzla demons who lived in some of the deepest caves under Sunnydale
and the magical treasure which they guarded.
When he had finished there was still an hour or so to
go before sundown and Buffy looked regretfully at the daylight filtering
through the crypt's windows. "I should go back and see Dawn's okay before
I come back out on patrol."
"But you don't want to," Spike finished for her in a
soft voice.
Buffy shook her head.
"Well, how about this for a different idea. You go home,
see little sis, make sure she's done all her homework. If she has I'll
come over and escort you both to the Bronze. We can always patrol once
the Niblet's safely tucked up in bed and it seems to me we've got reason
to celebrate. You could always ask the Wiccas as well if you want, if
they don't want to take advantage of having the house to themselves, that
is... Does that sound better?"
"You mean like a date?"
"Well, sort of like a date with an extra woman or three."
"Way to pander to your ego, walk in the Bronze with four
women on your arm."
"And every one a looker, too," Spike replied with a smug
smirk.
"You're on. Give me that phone that you've been hiding."
Spike pushed Buffy up off his lap and retrieved the phone
from the corner near the refrigerator where it was charging and threw
it to her. "Just press down the number two key and hold it for a while."
"Hey, Will, it's me. Has Dawn come home yet? ...Do you
know if she's finished all her homework? ...Let me know if she finds any.
Look, the reason I ask is that we've all been invited out for the evening...
To quote a wise man there is no good time to have fun on the Hellmouth...
No, don't worry about it. He said it was like a date but with three extra
women. That means he gets to pay for all of us, doesn't it?" Spike rolled
his eyes when he realised what he'd been suckered into. Buffy covered
the bottom half of the receiver and whispered, "That is okay, isn't it?"
Spike couldn't help himself. She had a sparkle in her
eye. "As long as you don't plan on drinking a bottle and a half of tequila
each it should be fine." He settled back into the chair and Buffy perched
in his lap again.
"Okay, Will, I'll be back in half-, make that three-quarters
of an hour and tell Dawn if she wants to use the shower to do it now before
I get back." Buffy flipped the phone shut and passed it back to Spike.
"Dawn has apparently been going round her room and the bathroom with a
fine-toothed comb to check for cameras in case The Nerd Herd have been
watching her when she's not dressed."
"They're dead men if she finds any."
"True, but you won't be the one dealing with them, Chip
Boy." Buffy's tone softened when she saw his expression. "It's hard for
you to rely on someone else to look after your womenfolk, isn't it?"
"Hey, Victorian male here... What do you think?"
"I think compared with when Will did her will be done
spell you've made definite progress. It's part of what makes me want this
to work. You're the only guy that I know who lets me be whatever I need
to be rather than trying to make me fit with their perception of who I
am.
Riley never got it. No, that's unfair, maybe he did,
but he couldn't be who I needed him to be.
With Angel it was like he was always protecting me, except
when he was stalking me. Even when he left he said it was to protect me.
I was such the little schoolgirl when we were together. Angel would never
be able to cope with who I am now. He had to play the hero. I think that's
why he never used to show up except with dire warnings of impending doom."
She brought a hand up to brush his cheek, turning his
head slightly so she could stare him straight in the eye.
"You know I'm counting on you to be the long-haul guy,
don't you?"
"I had hoped that was the point of the exercise this
afternoon, love, but I must admit I don't quite get why. I was expecting
you to come after me full of piss and vinegar and tell me to get out of
your town when the spell went wrong like that." Spike voiced what had
been troubling him earlier.
"And I might have done if it wasn't for what I saw and
felt when I was inside your head. I got to see myself through your eyes
and I didn't like all that much of what I saw. And I got to see how crazy
you are; that even when this total bitch treats you like I don't know
what, all you do is love her with all your heart regardless.
You wished that I would work out what it was that I really
wanted. I think at the time it was an iced mint mocha, but once I really
saw inside you I knew that what I wanted was to be able to trust you enough
to love you back."
"Trust's for old-marrieds, pet."
"No, Will, trust's what carries people through from where
we are now to being old-marrieds."
"That's a new one, pet."
"I thought I'd try it on for size. William seems a bit
stuffy and dated and Spike just didn't seem right and you're definitely
not a Bill or a Billy. Besides, if I called you Billy people would think
it was a joke about the hair. You don't mind do you?"
"Definitely better than the last time you called me William.
Call me anything you want, love."
"Well, aside from potential confusion when Willow's around,
I think I like it. Of course, it's not quite as catchy—" Buffy was interrupted
by the ring of Spike's phone.
"I knew giving the number to you women was a bad idea."
Spike checked the caller ID and passed the phone over to Buffy without
answering it. "It just flips open, love."
"Bloody residence. Buffy Summers speaking. Yeah, no problem,
I'll let him know. Poor Xander." Buffy closed the phone and passed it
back to Spike before explaining.
"It looks like we're set to be a party of seven tonight.
Xander called about all the messages we left the other night, said that
he wanted to come over, that he had an announcement to make. So Will told
him we were all going to the Bronze and could he meet us there instead.
Little does he know that we all know what his announcement's going to
be before we get there."
"Much as it pains me to say it we could—" Spike's phone
rang again, but this time when he checked the caller ID he took the call
himself.
"Yes, pet. I should be able to manage that. Yeah, see
you later then. Bye, kitten." Spike closed the phone again and continued
as if the phone conversation had never happened.
"...pretend that we didn't know. Well, except for the fact
that I'm a terrible liar."
"I'd never have guessed. I take it that was Anya."
"Yeah."
"So, how is it she got your phone number and I didn't?"
"Because she was alone. She needed someone she could
turn to if anything went wrong, or if she had a bad day."
Buffy remembered the protective feelings he had harboured
for the woman the previous day. "You really are quite a possessive little
vamp."
"Less of the little, pet, or I'll have to make you eat
your words, but possessive? You bet, and jealous too but I figure now
everything's official that I can be a bit more laid back. I might even
manage to be civilised if you dance with other men tonight, as long as
their hands don't go anywhere they shouldn't."
"I'm so glad you aren't planning on threatening to eat
anyone tonight... and besides I'm rather fond of the compact packaging.
I like being able to look you in the face rather than end up staring at
your nipples, which isn't to say that your chest isn't... I better go."
She made no move to extricate herself from the vampire's lap.
"Do you want me to bring the car tonight or would you
prefer to walk?"
"It looks like it should be a nice night. Let's walk.
Besides it would take hours to clean it out so that anyone could sit in
the back seat."
"Check. Clean out car before taking Buffy to Make Out
Point."
"You are incorrigible... except you haven't really been
that way at all today."
"That would be because I don't want you to fall back
into thinking this is all about sex. Sure, if that was all that was on
offer, I'd take it, but incredible as it was, it couldn't make up for what
was missing. I think I tried to tell you that once."
"So is this your way of saying you plan to withhold sex?"
"Why don't you invite me back to your place after patrol
when neither of us have to rush off anywhere and see?"
"Because I have a better plan." Buffy gave a teasing
smile.
"And what plan's this, love?"
"I invite you back to my place instead of patrol."
"Much better plan." Spike's smile widened into a grin,
a very smug, contented grin that Buffy just had to kiss right off his
face.
Now that the moment was finally here Spike suddenly felt
like an ancient teenager. He tried to remember the last time he had picked
someone up for a date and found that he couldn't actually remember ever
having done so. He juggled the flowers he was carrying to check his hair
and pop a mint in his mouth. Refusing to prevaricate any further, he rang
the doorbell.
He heard the clatter of teenage feet on the stairs and
then the door was pulled open by the younger Summers sister.
"She's nearly ready, but she's got to make an entrance,"
Dawn bubbled before taking the time to give him the once over. "Not bad...
not bad at all. You should wear that colour more often. You'll do."
Spike had basically gone with the new boots and jeans
he'd bought for the aborted wedding but he'd teamed them with a silk shirt
in a deep violet-blue and foregone his normal black T-shirt underneath.
Here and there a glint of silver jewellery set off the look.
"Here," Spike pulled a bunch of purple freesias from
the midst of the other flowers in his arms. "These are for you."
Half-laughing, Dawn took them. "What did you do? Buy
a bunch for all of us."
"Well, yeah. Didn't seem right getting some for Buffy
and nothing for the rest of you if I'm supposed to be taking all of you
out." Spike was a bit embarrassed now and wondering if the flowers had
been a good idea after all.
"I can't believe Buffy suckered you into paying for everything.
You do know that you're totally whipped, don't you?"
"Totally, utterly and completely and not ashamed to admit
it."
"Okay, I'm going to go get a vase and put these in my
room. Then I'll see if Willow and Tara have finished playing with their
overgrown Barbie." She wandered in the direction of the kitchen, leaving
Spike standing alone in the hall. Thanks to his better than average hearing
he caught the bit she muttered under her breath as she left the living
room. "As if he would care if she came downstairs in sack-cloth and ashes."
Less than five minutes later she was passing through
the hall again on her way upstairs. "I would ask if you wanted to sit
down," she said, " but I'm pretty certain you're supposed to be around
for the full dramatic effect of the walk downstairs. I'll try to speed
her up though."
"Don't worry, pet, I've waited more than a year. I think
I can manage to wait a few more minutes," he replied to her retreating back.
He decided to have another mint and if she hadn't come down by the time
he finished that he was going out on the front porch for a quick fag.
What was taking the bint so long? He never used to take this long to get
Dru dressed or at least he didn't think he did.
He was almost about to go outside when Willow and Tara
came down the stairs hand in hand. "Hey, Spike," Tara greeted him softly.
"Ladies," Spike responded, with a nod in their direction,
passing each of them a bunch of roses, white for Tara and a peachy shade
for Willow. "Sorry they're a bit... but I couldn't get to a florist. Had
to make do with the selection from the garage." He shrugged apologetically.
"They're lovely. It's the thought that counts anyway."
Tara smiled at him in that way that made you realise she really was beautiful outside as well as in.
Willow gave him a soft smile and mouthed the words, "Thank you."
Before they got any farther Dawn came rushing downstairs
at breakneck speed. "I'll take those and stick them in a bucket till we
get back. Buffy's coming down." She took the flowers from the two witches
and rushed through to the kitchen with them, eager to get back in time
to see Spike's face when her sister made her entrance.
Buffy appeared on the stairs, moving down them slowly,
which Spike decided was just as well since it gave him time to recover.
Feathery tendrils of hair framed her face which was apparently bare of make-up except
for dark mascara outlining her green-brown eyes and crimson lipstick.
Around her neck she wore the same black choker with a pink-red rose that
she'd worn at her birthday party and her halter-top was the same colour
as the flower. For only the fourth time that Spike could remember since
she came back, she wore a skirt instead of trousers, this one calf-length
and black. It was full enough to allow her total freedom of movement if
she needed it but so lightweight that it swirled and moved against her
legs as she walked. Black suede boots with a three-inch heel showed beneath
the hem of the skirt and over her arm she carried her long black leather
coat.
Spike instinctively moved to take her coat so that he
could hold it for her to put it on and then he realised he still held
her flowers in his hand. Glad that he didn't have any circulation to give
him away with a blush he held out the bouquet toward Buffy, who took it
from him, smiling teasingly at him as she questioned, "Cat got your tongue?"
Then her expression turned puzzled. "Don't think I want to know where
that expression comes from."
"You look beautiful, love, as always," Spike managed
in a husky tone, glad that he'd left his shirt loose over the top of his
jeans. He cleared his throat and continued. "I don't know what time you're
all meant to be meeting Harris but I think if we don't get those flowers
in the bucket with Willow's and Tara's I'm going to be late for a meeting
with a vengeance demon. So, assuming you ladies all want me in one piece,
I think we should get moving."
Dawn rescued the last of the flowers and Spike held out
Buffy's coat for her in a gesture rarely seen these days outside of restaurants
and hairdressers. Soon the group were on the move, Willow and Tara walking
in front, Spike and Buffy ten or fifteen feet behind with Dawn rushing
back and forward between them every few minutes like an over-excited puppy.
Every so often when Dawn was up ahead with the Wiccas, Spike would claim
a kiss from the apparently happy slayer, then the two would have to speed
up to avoid trailing too far behind.
The whole thing seemed surreal. On Friday night he'd
been commiserating with Anya over the state of both their love lives.
Now come Sunday, he was with Buffy on his way to congratulate Anya on
her wedding. He could still congratulate her on getting what she wanted,
even if that was Harris, couldn't he? Most surreal of all was the feel
of Buffy's tiny fingers intertwined with his. | 
