Chapter 17
Giles caught the stake just before it spun
off the end of the desk. He looked down at the sharpened
wood in his hand and turned once more on Spike.
"What the hell are you playing at? Are
you trying to force me to stake you?"
"Yes. No. I'm trying to make you think
about where that fucking look of disgust on your face is
coming from. I'm tired of wondering what I have to do and
how long I'm going to have to do it for before you wankers
are going to decide I'm not something you'd scrape off the
bottom of your shoe with a stick. I'm tired of doing everything
I can to be good enough for you lot and it never being enough.
I'm fed up of the thought that the only way you'll ever
accept that it's not all some big con is by me dying. And
even then if you manage to get out a good word between you
and Xander, it'll only be because you're relieved I'm not
around any more.
If that look's really about how you feel,
then yeah, I would rather you tried to stake me. At least
it would be fuckin' honest."
"Spike." Giles laid the stake on the desk
and removed his glasses, wiping them with a white cloth
handkerchief he drew from his jacket pocket. "I'm sure you
won't be surprised if I say that I'm not exactly happy about
you and Buffy becoming involved. You are, however, both
adults and it isn't my place to interfere. I do appreciate
that you have changed quite considerably over the past two
years or so, but the fact of the matter is that none of
us know whether you'll be able to keep this up. If you'll
pardon the metaphor, it's like dealing with a reformed alcoholic.
It doesn't matter how long he's been on the wagon, everybody
knows that it's only going to take one drink and he'll be
off on a binge.
You've barely recovered from having the
chip removed and on the third night you've been here you're
already talking about killing someone. I understand that
there are mitigating circumstances, but you must see, that
from my perspective it has to cast grave doubts on your
ability to live peacefully within society. Have you discussed
your plans with Buffy?"
"No. no, it got kind of glossed over. I
mean she knew that one of the reasons I wanted the chip
out was to be able to defend myself if I was attacked by
humans, and I sort of figured if she was okay with those
Byzantium blokes getting' killed last year the principle
was the same. I don't think the fact that I might have to
kill someone to get the contract revoked ever came up."
"Maybe you should speak to her."
"I think you might be right. I'd rather
have those guys after me indefinitely than put her in the
position where she feels she has to stake me."
"Good. And Spike, about you and Buffy,
if you're right and you do manage to make her happy, then
maybe I might feel able to cut you some slack. I'm sure
you know what to expect if you hurt her. I'll leave you
to make that phone call."
"Yeah, you and half the population of Sunnydale,
but none of you would get the chance 'cos I'd sooner dust
myself than hurt her."
Giles merely nodded before he left Spike
alone in his hotel room.
Buffy and Dawn were sitting down to dinner
together. Buffy had made an effort to cook one of Dawn's
favourite dishes and she had bought a couple of pints of
ice cream for what she hoped would be their chat afterwards.
"So, how much earlier do I need to get
you up for school tomorrow to allow time for you walking?"
Buffy asked in her lightest voice, not wanting to start
things off on the wrong foot by appearing critical.
"About twenty-five minutes, maybe half
an hour."
"So does that mean you picked up a detention
today?"
"Nah, I was lucky, when I got down to the
second corner Scott Cooper's dad gave me a lift and I just
made it in time. Don't worry, no extra ammunition for the
wicked witch of social services. What 'bout you. You get
to work okay?
"Yeah, just. Xander was out the back door
about a minute after you left by the front. I didn't really
have much to add to what you said, just that he should go
away and think about it and if he couldn't come to terms
with it then stay away."
"Cool. I kinda thought you might cave and
be all apolgise-y when I left."
"Apologetic. And no I'm not going to stand
there and let a guy who has one not-demon, not-dead girl
on his dating resume tell me I can't date Spike. Spike deserves
better treatment than he's been getting especially from
me, but from the others as well. I meant to have a word
with everybody when I told them we were going to be dating,
but then when it was just Willow and Tara it felt a bit
silly, 'cos most of what I'd planned to say was mostly aimed
at Xander. After this morning I wish I'd said it anyway.
Dawn, what you said this morning about
not having a soul. Were you really just baiting Xander or
is this something that's possible?"
"It's possible, I just don't know how I'm
supposed to tell. I mean I'm not all Angelus, but then I'm
not part demon and Spike's not even all evil any more and
he is. It seems to me though if a soul's supposed to be
that special then they couldn't just magic one up."
"Why wait till now to say anything?"
"Because I didn't know what you would say.
You kept saying stuff about how you couldn't be with Spike
and the only difference between him and Angel apart from
the fact I like Spike is that Angel has a soul."
"So when I said I would go out with Spike
you figured I might be able to take the news."
"Duh."
"Dawn, you know there's nothing you could
ever tell me, there's nothing you could ever do that would
stop me loving you. I might have been pig-headed about letting
Spike in because I was scared-, because I am scared, but
I have loved you all your life. Spike says love is all about
blood, in fact he said everything is always about blood,
and your blood is my blood. That's never going to change.
You aren't ever going to be able to get rid of me. I'm just
so sorry if I said anything about Spike that hurt you. I
know that doesn't make it right. I can't." Buffy choked
up.
Dawn abandoned her meal and moved round
the table to where Buffy was sitting. She put her arms around
her sister and for once she was the one to comfort her.
"Hey, I know you didn't mean to get at me. I know you love
me." She rocked Buffy backwards and forwards in her arms.
Buffy looked up into the eyes of her sister.
"Whatever you want to do about this, just say it and it's
done. I can talk to Tara, see if she can tell whether you
have a soul or not. We can do research, see if we can find
anything on how the monks made you. If you want we can drop
the whole subject and not say anyth—"
Buffy's voice was cut off by the sound
of her sister's mobile ringing. "It's Spike!" Dawn shouted
as she ran into the living room to get it.
"How do you know? You haven't answered
it?"
"I programmed a ring tone just for him.
Couldn't find any Sex Pistols so I made it the theme from
Men In Black. Hello, Spike?"
"Hello, pet, how's things?"
"We're having a day of high drama. Buffy
can explain. Thanks for the flowers. They came yesterday
and they're gorgeous. I'm going to put Buffy on now not
that I want rid of you but I think I can wait."
"Okay, luv, I'll speak to you in a bit."
Dawn passed the phone to Buffy.
"Spike, hi." Buffy managed to get out a
greeting before she was forced to sniff.
"Buffy, are you crying? What's wrong, pet?
Should I come home?" Spike's reply was verging on frantic.
"I'm just a bit sniffly. It's a long story
and maybe, but it depends what's going on at your end."
"Okay, love, take a nice deep breath, let
it out nice and slow and then start at the beginning of
this long story." As he spoke, the vampire tossed around
stuff in his duffle bag until he found the charger for his
phone and connected it up.
Spike listened quietly as Buffy told him
about the day's events, occasionally prompting her quietly
to continue, until he got the full tale.
"Okay, pet, if it's okay with you, I'll
leave the Xander side of things until later. Much as you
like him, I don't think that's what you're really upset
about, is it?" Spike began to talk her through the problem,
his voice deliberately pitched, calm and soft.
"N-no."
"Right, so there's one bit of this I can
straighten out now, no problem. Because of what Dawn said
your suddenly thinking back over all the grief you've given
me in front of her, and apart from feeling guilty about
what she's been thinking of it all, to be blunt, you've
begun to realise what a bitch you've been to me?"
"Uh-huh?"
"But we're talking about things you did
before we came to our agreement, right?"
"Yeah."
"Buffy, as far as I'm concerned, that day
we drove to Vegas is where "we" started. Every bad thing
that happened between us up to then, it's gone. Forgiven,
if not forgotten. We need a fresh start. I kinda got the
impression that you went along with that idea, so, if you
can let me off the hook about kidnapping you and trying
to kill you, I think you get a get out of jail free card
on the harsh language."
"Okay." Buffy agreed, although secretly
she felt as if she were being let off lightly. She knew
that the emotional scars that her words caused were probably
far more damaging than any hurt he had caused her, even
if some of his comments had been pretty painful too.
"So now we have the biggie. How's Dawn?"
"I don't know, to be honest. I'd almost
say happier, like she's pleased it's out in the open." Buffy
looked across at her younger sister, who nodded to express
her agreement with Buffy's assessment. "She's obviously
thought it all through as far as she can on her own and
we were just discussing what our options might be when you
rang and I still don't know why you rang."
"Why I rang can wait until my girls are
feeling better. Put the Niblet back on the phone, but don't
you go away. I'll want to speak with you again in a few
minutes."
Spike waited till he heard the phone being
passed back.
"Okay, pet, way I see it there are two
main options. We assume that now Monkey Boy knows your secret
all the other Scoobies are goin' to find out sooner or later.
Or we hope he's going to be an anti-social git. Personally,
I don't think this'll stay hidden but if you'd rather wait
and see, I wouldn't blame you. Funny enough, I don't think
any of them'll give you any serious grief about it. I think
they'll probably be sympathetic but it has to be your choice.
What do you think?"
"Tell them."
"Next question, would it help if I was
there?"
"Duh. of course it would be nicer if you
were around, but even if you started making arrangements
now it could be days before you got back and it's going
to sound better coming from me and Buffy rather than Xander."
"Okay, pet, point taken. If that's the
case it might be a couple of days before I finish up here.
Should I leave now, or wait till I'm done here?"
"Finish up what you're doing. That way
I know when you get back, we've got your undivided attention."
"Okay, bit. I'll see you in a few days.
Any other news you want to tell me, or is it all too sensitive
to repeat in front of your sister?"
"It'll keep."
"Right, pet, in that case, I'll tell you
the same thing I plan to tell your sister. I'm really proud
and I feel really lucky that the pair of you would stick
up for me like that in front of Xander. That said, for all
we hate each other's guts, I know he loves both of you and
vice versa, so it's up to the three of you to sort out some
sort of agreement, because I'm not going to be the cause
of breaking you lot up. If he hasn't been in touch with
the two of you by tomorrow night, I want one of you to get
in touch with him. Okay?"
"Okay." From the tone of her voice Spike
could just imagine the eye rolling that accompanied the
response.
"Right then, so other than telling you,
I've missed you, I think it's time to pass the phone again,
pet."
"Okay, missed you too, bye." Dawn gave
the phone back to Buffy again.
Spike quickly covered the ground he'd already
been over with Dawn.
"So, pet, is that everything sort of settled
over there?"
"Sort of. You haven't seen Giles have you.
I've been trying to ring him all day whenever it wasn't
some silly time over there, but I keep getting his answering
machine."
"That's because he's staying in town with
a friend, ostensibly to be handy if I need him, but I don't
know if he's checking his messages. I could give you his
friend's number, but I'd leave it a while before you ring.
He'd just left here when I rang you and it's quarter past
four in the morning now, so."
"Give me a minute to get a pen." Spike
supplied Olivia's number.
"Have we got a name to go with that?"
"Olivia."
"Aaah." said Buffy.
"Does that mean you are aware of the lady
in question?"
"Yeah, so are you, in a sense, even if
you weren't formally introduced. She's the reason you went
to stay in Xander's basement."
"So this is a long term thing then. Looks
like Rupert is a bit of a dark horse. He must be doing something
right if he can keep a pretty girl who's that much younger
than he is" Spike joked, feigning an incredulous tone, "and
I always thought the only company he had at night was a
good book. I must have underestimated him."
"Little do you know." Buffy muttered underneath
her breath. There was no way Buffy was going to tell Spike
about her mother and Giles and the band candy. For one thing,
Spike would probably take it as a challenge to find more
outrageous public places in which to have sex. She really
didn't think she was up for finding anywhere that could
remotely compete with on the hood of a police squad car.
"I heard that, Slayer, and I reserve my
right to make relevant enquiries at a later date, when I
can get at your ticklish spots while I question you."
The words, "You wouldn't dare!" escaped
the slayer's mouth before she realised it was exactly the
wrong thing to say. "Stop smirking. I can tell from twelve
thousand miles away over a phone line, so stop it."
"Sorry, pet, it's beyond my control."
"Spike, not that it isn't nice to hear
from you, and I did want to say thank you for the flowers,
but why did you phone in the first place? Since this is
the first actual call as opposed to text message that you've
made I assume there was actually a reason."
"Actually, the Watcher told me to. Oh,
and I'd better warn you, we kind of had a bit of a disagreement
and I sort of told him about our future plans. He doesn't
know anything about what happened after he left, but he
knows we've agreed to see each other when I get back, so
you've been warned."
"How did he take it?"
"Oh turned purple, looked like his head
was going to explode, yelled a bit, I yelled back, threw
him a stake, then he calmed down a bit and said he didn't
approve but we were both adults. Then he said if I actually
made you happy he might consider treating me like a human
being and followed up with the standard threat about what'll
happen if I hurt you. So better than expected I suppose."
"Oh, that reminds me, I don't know if he
realises I meant it literally but I told Xander if he tried
to come to you about the two of us, that you would give
as good as you get. That doesn't mean you get to hit first
or use your full strength, I don't want any permanent damage
on either of you, so take it easy on him, remember he doesn't
heal like you do and he's more breakable in the first place."
"I do actually get to hit him though?"
Spike said sarcastically.
"Only if he hits you first."
"If I agree to this, I'm going to want
lots of special treatment to make up for it. That boy's
been askin' for a good hidin' for two years and you want
me to take it easy on him."
"Check, lots of special treatment to be
willingly supplied." Buffy responded in a low husky voice.
"Buffy," her name was almost a growl, "for
one thing as you so rightly pointed out, I'm twelve thousand
miles away. And for another I meant what I said about doing
things in the right order. No Spike sex toys. Consider yourself
cut-off until you're ready to make a commitment. So. Stop.
Playing. With. Me. Love."
She could tell from his tone that he was
serious, but the way has voice softened when he said the
last word, she knew he wasn't holding any grudges. She also
felt tremendously empowered, knowing that she could have
such an effect on him, using just her voice.
"I'll behave." She replied in a meek tone.
"God, Buffy, you better tell me you haven't
got that pout on your face or you're going to drive me insane,
woman."
"No pout, no pout at all," she lied, trying
to allow him to regain his equilibrium. "Anyway, Giles told
you to phone because."
".because I have to make a decision, and
it isn't one I'm very well equipped to make. We know who
is behind everything. I must be getting really good at being
obnoxious, because I've never even met him. Anyway, the
thing is, the person in question is human.
Now, I know that if it couldn't be helped,
you wouldn't object if I ended up killing someone in self-defence.
At least that was my take on the whole camper van incident,
I could be wrong though.
The problem is, actually there's two parts
to the problem. I can only think of one way to get the contract
stopped. I doubt the gentleman in question could be negotiated
with and even if he gave his word I doubt he'd keep it.
I don't know whether I could really say it's self-defence,
and the last thing I want is for you to feel you have to
stake me. I think it has to be your call, but it gets worse.
If I go ahead as I'd planned then the fact
that the guy in question is Travers is going to mean that
I'll probably have the whole bloody council wanting my head,
and getting pissed off with you if you don't deliver. I
think I could use some advice, pet."
"Great, Spike, that sounds even more complicated
than finding out if my sister has a soul. I think I want
a lot more details. What exactly have you found out? What
proof do you have? And why does he want you dead? Is he
using his money or council money?"
"Well I think at last count there were
about four different motives I could come up with, but for
some reason, possibly to do with the fact that it's nearly
dawn, there's only three come immediately to mind. Bollocks!
I'm sure I counted four at one point."
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